I wanted to rant a little bit today about things that are on my mind. I’m thinking about how living with a mental illness seems like a never ending race. like someone is dangling a carrot in front of us and the closer we get to it the farther away it seems to be. (Does that make sense) Everyday is a battle, we may not look like it. But we are actively fighting something everyday. Whether it’s anxiety, depression, an eating disorder, OCD, whatever it is. Someone is always fighting something and we need to acknowledge that. I constantly worry that I’m doing something wrong or did something wrong. I feel like everyday is a battle.
For those that don’t know I have the following mental illnesses: Anxiety, Depression, Panic Disorder, I’ve struggled with an eating disorder on and off for years, and I have symptoms of complex PTSD. So you can imagine it’s interesting in my head. It’s full of worry and panic. Constantly worrying that I ate too much or the wrong food. Constantly worrying that I said/did something wrong or need to apologize to someone. Constantly pushing people away because I’m scared they’ll hurt me. I don’t mean to be a dark cloud. But Living with a mental illness isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. I need to be honest here. That’s why I share my story daily. Is to help someone else!!!!